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Overcoming FEAR…
14 June 2006Ah, that sinking feeling that grips you… maybe it keeps you up at night.
Fear.
Is it true that we have nothing to fear but fear itself?
So what are we afraid of anyway?
Naming the emotion. Fearful emotions can range from low levels of concern to high levels of anxiety and fright. Understand what’s behind it.
Renaming the emotion…
Tony Robbins in his book Awaken the Giant Within, renames emotions and calls them ”Action Signals” — emotions are a signal that we need to take some action.
Tony says that the message behind fear is simple: “Fear is simply the anticipation that something that’s going to happen soon needs to be prepared for.” We need either to cope with the situation or to do something to change it.
I would agree that in some situations preparation can be a good antidote. I know this works for example with the fear of exams, presentations, trials, even mediations. Preparation will allay your fear.
What about when you are setting out on your journey to build a successful mediation practice and you fear… failing, not earning enough money, not getting enough business, not facilitating settlements… you fill in the blank.
I would say that you need to prepare to succeed and also prepare for it to take awhile.
There is no such thing as failure, just feedback.
Hence, if one of the things you fear is failure… part of your job is to redefine how you view success (and delayed success). Tony Robbins is also really big on transforming our vocabulary. Really he is about paradigm shifts through language, patterns and physiology.
If there is no such thing as failure… then there is nothing to fear. Fear can be renamed to be feedback or success delayed. A low level of anxiety is good as it will prevent you from doing things without any preparation and falling flat on your face. It serves a valid purpose to protect you from danger.
So, if you fear not succeeding at your practice building efforts, you can prepare to succeed. Preparing to succeed may involve a lot of things. I would suggest that it should involve a detailed analysis of what it takes to build a successful mediation practice.
For example, if it’s going to take two solid years of committed effort to build a practice, you should prepare for that level of commitment. The time, of course, will vary depending upon you, your market, etc.
A bona fide short cut and excellent way to prepare to succeed is to consult with successful mediators in your area. You can save yourself countless hours of trial and error by studying experts in your field. You can also seek out mentors to guide your journey. You can hire a coach to guide you, encourage you and support you on your journey.
My only caution would be to be careful from whom you take advice. There are a lot of “don’t quit your day job” pessimistic people out there who probably haven’t made mediation their day job.
Some other ways to address fear — take what you fear to its logical extreme, e.g. after two years of committed effort, you have insufficient clients/referrals, no steady stream of cases and you have burned through all your capital. Then what? What would you do then? Your life wouldn’t be over. Maybe you would be on the brink of wild success, or maybe you need to make some major adjustments in your approach.
Then ask yourself, what do I need to do to avoid this result? Take action steps everyday to bring what you want into being.
Focus intensely on the joy and accomplishment of what you really want to happen… create a vision and mental picture of what you see, hear and feel through your eyes, voice and heart of faith…
“I have a successful mediation practice with all the clients and referrals I need. I do ___ mediations per month and enjoy a rewarding, fulfilling career in which I share my gifts with the world and earn a substantial income doing it.”
Doesn’t that feel good? Say it out loud.
Stand up tall, confident, shoulders back, take a deep breath. This reality can be yours.
Visualize yourself with satisfied clients who tell all their friends, colleagues and coworkers what an extraordinary mediator you are and how you have helped them with their problems.
At the end of the day, you prepare, study the experts, take action and have faith.
The wise owl in the video “The Seventh Brother” tells young “Tiny” (the lost puppy who got separated from his family), “fear and faith cannot exist in your heart at the same time.”
Choose faith. Choose to believe in your dream and prepare to make it a reality.
Your partner in peace,
Kristina Haymes
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