Mediation Marketing Tips

The Short List…

Kristina Haymes — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:04:24 +0000

The question of the day is: how do you get on the short list?

For those of you who don’t know to what I am referring, I am referring to the “short list of mediators.” When lawyers advise their clients to mediate a case, the lawyers will usually circulate a list of mediators to the other side. Now, I’m talking about litigated cases (and not situations where parties will hire a mediator directly).

Now that for the time being I am focusing on lawyering (since we relocated back to California) I am a consumer of mediation services more than a provider. Check out my new firm www.brownlawgroup.com (I love it!).

I am just beginning to get a feel for the market here for mediators. It’s interesting to me when a particular mediator gets the response of “absolutely not.” What makes a lawyer say, “absolutely not” we will not use that mediator. Alternatively, what makes someone say, “yes” we will go to him or her?

Some mediators are perceived to be too partisan (favoring one side of the bar more than the other). Other mediators are known to be use “strong arm tactics” or to cross the line into being disrespectful.

It’s a useful exercise to ask yourself, “How do I want to be perceived?” When the lawyers get together and talk about me, what do I want them to say?

You are your brand. Your reputation is your gold. Define it, visualize it, and then work hard to be consistent and implement your strategy. The work you do at the table is some of the most important marketing you do. You still need to get out there and network and have marketing strategies, but do not neglect developing your brand.

For example, you may want people to think, she is persistent, she is trustworthy, she has integrity, she is respectful, she gets the job done…she is excellent. She will follow through, free of charge.

Develop your brand, define how you want to be known and then go get em.

Never Give Up!

Kristina

p.s. we now have digital copies of the mediation business and marketing success system, for easy download of audio interviews with successful mediators and an ebook action plan. www.mediationmarketingsecrets.com

What makes ideas stick? A book excerpt

Kristina Haymes — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:19:14 +0000

As you go about the business of marketing your mediation and/or ADR practice, you will want to develop a compelling marketing message, and concepts and ideas about conflict resolution that will “stick” with your target audience.

How do you do this? I have been reading about sticky ideas and I am enclosing an excerpt below from the book, courtesy of the publisher. Enjoy and never give up!
Kristina

What Sticks?
by Chip Heath & Dan Heath,
Authors of Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die

A friend of a friend of ours is a frequent business traveler. Let’s call him Dave. Dave was recently in Atlantic City for an important meeting with clients. Afterward, he had some time to kill before his flight, so he went to a local bar for a drink.

He’d just finished one drink when an attractive woman approached and asked if she could buy him another. He was surprised but flattered. Sure, he said. The woman walked to the bar and brought back two more drinks — one for her and one for him. He thanked her and took a sip. And that was the last thing he remembered.

Rather, that was the last thing he remembered until he woke up, disoriented, lying in a hotel bathtub, his body submerged in ice. He looked around frantically, trying to figure out where he was and how he got there. Then he spotted the note:

DON’T MOVE. CALL 911.

A cell phone rested on a small table beside the bathtub. He picked it up and called 911, his fingers numb and clumsy from the ice. The operator seemed oddly familiar with his situation. She said, “Sir, I want you to reach behind you, slowly and carefully. Is there a tube protruding from your lower back?”

Anxious, he felt around behind him. Sure enough, there was a tube.

The operator said, “Sir, don’t panic, but one of your kidneys has been harvested. There’s a ring of organ thieves operating in this city, and they got to you. Paramedics are on their way. Don’t move until they arrive.”

You’ve just read one of the most successful urban legends of the past fifteen years. The first clue is the classic urban-legend opening: “A friend of a friend . . . ” Have you ever noticed that our friends’ friends have much more interesting lives than our friends themselves?

You’ve probably heard the Kidney Heist tale before. There are hundreds of versions in circulation, and all of them share a core of three elements: (1) the drugged drink, (2) the ice-filled bathtub, and (3) the kidney-theft punch line. One version features a married man who receives the drugged drink from a prostitute he has invited to his room in Las Vegas. It’s a morality play with kidneys.

Imagine that you closed the book right now, took an hourlong break, then called a friend and told the story, without rereading it. Chances are you could tell it almost perfectly. You might forget that the traveler was in Atlantic City for “an important meeting with clients” — who cares about that? But you’d remember all the important stuff.

The Kidney Heist is a story that sticks. We understand it, we remember it, and we can retell it later. And if we believe it’s true, it might change our behavior permanently — at least in terms of accepting drinks from attractive strangers.

Contrast the Kidney Heist story with this passage, drawn from a paper distributed by a nonprofit organization. “Comprehensive community building naturally lends itself to a return-on-investment rationale that can be modeled, drawing on existing practice,” it begins, going on to argue that “[a] factor constraining the flow of resources to CCIs is that funders must often resort to targeting or categorical requirements in grant making to ensure accountability.”

Imagine that you closed the book right now and took an hourlong break. In fact, don’t even take a break; just call up a friend and retell that passage without rereading it. Good luck.

Is this a fair comparison — an urban legend to a cherry-picked bad passage? Of course not. But here’s where things get interesting: Think of our two examples as two poles on a spectrum of memorability. Which sounds closer to the communications you encounter at work? If you’re like most people, your workplace gravitates toward the nonprofit pole as though it were the North Star.

Maybe this is perfectly natural; some ideas are inherently interesting and some are inherently uninteresting. A gang of organ thieves — inherently interesting! Nonprofit financial strategy — inherently uninteresting! It’s the nature versus nurture debate applied to ideas: Are ideas born interesting or made interesting?

Well, this is a nurture book.

So how do we nurture our ideas so they’ll succeed in the world? Many of us struggle with how to communicate ideas effectively, how to get our ideas to make a difference. A biology teacher spends an hour explaining mitosis, and a week later only three kids remember what it is. A manager makes a speech unveiling a new strategy as the staffers nod their heads enthusiastically, and the next day the frontline employees are observed cheerfully implementing the old one.

Good ideas often have a hard time succeeding in the world. Yet the ridiculous Kidney Heist tale keeps circulating, with no resources whatsoever to support it.

Why? Is it simply because hijacked kidneys sell better than other topics? Or is it possible to make a true, worthwhile idea circulate as effectively as this false idea?

The above is an excerpt from the book Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath & Dan Heath. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.

Excerpted from Made to Stick by Chip Heath & Dan Heath Copyright © 2007 by Chip Heath & Dan Heath. Excerpted by permission of Random House, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Author Bio
Chip Heath, co-author of Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, is a professor of organizational behavior in the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University. He lives in Los Gatos, California.

Dan Heath, co-author of Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, is a Consultant to the Policy Programs of the Aspen Institute. A former researcher at Harvard Business School, he is a co-founder of Thinkwell, an innovative new-media textbook company. He lives in Raleigh, North Carolina.

http://www.madetostick.com/

Spring is here!

Kristina Haymes — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:28:54 +0000

Today is the first day of spring. Here in San Diego this is of much less significance to me than it was last year when I was on the East Coast.

Nonetheless, I heard an interesting quote today — “Growth is always followed by pruning.”

When we lived in Northern California along the bay, I had several tree roses and smaller rose bushes and after a hard day lawyering, it was relaxing for me to trim my rose bushes. In winter, I gave them a good pruning.

So, when I heard this quote today it reminded me of my roses. Right now at this crazy time in history — are you experiencing pruning?

In what areas of your life have you been pruned? Perhaps financially, professionally, spiritually? Has your practice suffered during these turbulent times?

Whether or not you will experience growth again in spring, summer, and fall is in large part dependent upon how you respond to pruning. Do you embrace pruning?

Do you learn, ask, seek, and dig down deep into the soil of your life. Have you been nurturing your vision and your dreams during the dark of winter?

Pruning can be a wonderful time of healing and when embraced can lead to future growth.

Where are you at right now? Is it time for spring in your life, or is winter lingering?

Embrace pruning and make room for new growth!

Never give up!
Kristina

A Networking Lesson

Kristina Haymes — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:26:03 +0000

I couldn’t help but write about today… it just seems that inspiration is everywhere lately.

So, let me set the stage. I’m downtown at a lawyer’s lunch event. People sign in and mingle and then sit down at tables for lunch and to listen to a key note speaker.

At the conclusion of the lunch, as I was leaving a woman came up to me and said, “I guess I better talk to someone before I leave.” So, we had a nice little chat and she explained what she did (which took me awhile to figure out - she wasn’t a lawyer). She then said she would walk out with me when she was approached by another woman. So, I turned around to see what the delay was. This other woman had a name tag which I believe reflected the fact she was a retired judge (nothing at all against retired judges!). She had a stack of business cards in her hand and she was handing them out. She quickly asked the two of us what we did and she said something quickly and then ran off to talk to someone else without even saying goodbye.

Frankly, I found the situation a bit humorous and shocking. The retired judge had apparently concluded that we were not future prospects for her.

Or are we?

You see, no one knows what tomorrow will bring. She could not have possibly known where I may be working tomorrow, next year, or in five years. She may not know that I could be in a position to send her referrals.

Lest we forget, the world we live in is small. You trade on your reputation. Treat all whom you encounter with respect. Obviously, this particular mediator (I believe that was her current line of work), had forgotten the golden rule. And, I suspect she subscribed to an ineffective and out-dated definition of networking as going to functions and “working a room” and passing out business cards to as many prospects as possible.

A simple reminder: networking is about building relationships. Yes, you can be strategic and work on networking in centers of influence. But, at its core networking is about providing value to others (not business cards), and being of service. By providing value and serving, you build trust, connection, and rapport. You foster the desire for others to reciprocate and send you referrals.

Alas, networking is a great opportunity for mediators to use our skills: ask lots of questions and listen. This is the only way you will know how you may provide value.

Never Give UP!
How can you provide value today?

Kristina

Experts Win Business

Kristina Haymes — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 02:25:54 +0000

I do employment law and mediation and this week I went to a training on California wage and hour laws.

The instructor was a well-known employment lawyer who has been in the field for around 30 years and provides training on various employment law topics for lawyers and HR professionals. He also has written publications (which he periodically updates) on almost 20 different employment law topics!

He is prolific and hands down considered one of the leading experts in wage and hour and employment law in California.

At lunch I sat next to a woman who had been a client of his for years. As we discussed his expertise, I was reminded of a simple yet compelling truth: experts win business.

As much as things change, some things stay the same. Those who speak and write in a niche area are considered the “experts” and the experts are the ones who clients want to hire. In addition, clients want to work with those they know, like, and trust. Assuming these elements are in place, the expert will win business over the dabbler.

Indeed, I have worked at the same law firm as this particular expert and heard him describe a conversation he may have with a prospective client at a pitch for business:

Business developer: I see you have my book on employment law on your shelf.

Prospective client: Yes.

Business developer: Who would you rather hire, the student or the teacher?

Now, I am not certain how much truth there is to this “war story” or whether you would feel comfortable with this approach. Yet, the principle behind it is sound: experts win business.

What is your niche and what area of expertise can you develop?

Begin writing and speaking in your niche. Find some angle that is unique or where there is a pressing need.

Maybe right now you are working on developing expertise in real estate foreclosure mediations? Study, read, learn and then turn your knowledge into articles and speeches that you can share. Take substantive knowledge and add your conflict resolution specialty to the area and see what you can come up with.

While some say no substantive expertise is necessary to mediate, I disagree — particularly when it comes to marketing your service. Most clients want to hire someone who has substantive knowledge and expertise in the field. Of course, you can apply your mediation and conflict resolution skills to a broad range of disputes.

Yet, can you imagine, for example, mediating a divorce case without understanding certain basics principles from your jurisdiction’s rules on property division, child custody and the like? Of course, the parties can choose not to follow a likely legal outcome — but the legal landscape is often one option parties consider when crafting a resolution.

I took the reminder to heart!
How about you?

Never Give UP!

Kristina

Quality and Quantity

Kristina Haymes — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:57:04 +0000

In the Mediation Mastery Model ™ I created for the success system, there are four quadrants. One very important quadrant is Technical Mastery. Technical Mastery relates to your skill, experience, and abilities as a mediator. It is important to work continuously on improving your skills and to have a philosophy of continuous learning and improvement. This mindset and approach is one defining characteristic that separates the top of the field from the rest.

I am reading a book by Gary Keller, The Millionaire Real Estate Agent, because an attorney real estate broker I know gave it to me. I was intrigued by an excerpt Keller included about quality and quantity:

David Bayles and Ted Orland in their enlightening book, Art and Fear, tell the story of the ceramics teacher who divided his class into two groups. One would be graded solely on the quality of their work and the other would be graded solely on the quantity of their work. He was very straightforward about his grading criteria. The group graded on quality would produce one pot, which needed to be perfect to get an A. The quantity group would have all their pots weighed. If they produced less, their grades would suffer. The results were quite revealing. The quality group spent much of their time planning the perfect pot, but when it came time to create it, they either made mistakes or their skills were too underdeveloped to fulfill their visions. On the other hand, the quantity group churned out pot after pot and, in the process, learned from their mistakes and perfected more advanced techniques. If you haven’t guessed the group that focused on quantity not only generated a greater quantity of work but also work of a superior quality.

Amazing!

As I think back over my experiences in the legal field, I see how the principle applies. At the first firm I worked at out of law school we spent over a month working on a brief. Five people and many drafts later we finally filed the brief. If I go back and read this brief — it is not a work of art. It was good, it was effective — it wasn’t perfect, nor was it “great.” By way of contrast I think about people at smaller firms working on smaller matters who were churning out briefs. Feedback is built into the system. A good adversary will attack weak arguments and judges rule on the merits. I can guarantee you that those who hone the skill of legal writing have drafted many briefs. These advocates have received a lot of feedback from superiors, adversaries, clients, and judges. The same is true for attorneys who work for the government and are in trial or court all the time. These attorneys will have superior examination and courtroom skills than those who rarely get the opportunity to examine witnesses or argue in court.

Likewise in the mediation field, mediators who spend time mediating in the court system (for low wages) often will have a huge advantage over those mediators with less experience.

It is important to spend time in the mediator’s chair. Yes, in the real world when the stakes are high you can ruin your reputation if you are not prepared or skilled. There are, however, opportunities to hone your craft. They may not be glamorous or fun, but think of it as your internship. You are paying your dues to become great.

Often, the requirements for entry into the field of mediation are too low. Your training and education are largely up to you. Take your training and development seriously. Seek out mentors and opportunities to get experience even if you work for low wages or for free. Yes, I believe mediators should be well compensated and that we provide a valuable service. But when doctors are residents and interns they are not paid well. We have to pay our dues.

How can you increase the quantity of your mediations so that you improve your quality?

Set a goal to increase the quantity of mediations you do by 10% and incrementally add opportunities. Find a more experienced mediator in your community who will let you shadow them. This is another way to improve your skill.

Never give up!

Be the best you can be.

Kristina

p.s. I’ve updated the mediation marketing secrets page and now offer a 100% digital version of the success system interviews with expert mediators: , check it out.

Time to update your bio…

Kristina Haymes — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 01:08:29 +0000

As 2008 comes to a close… it is the perfect time to update your bio.

When people are thinking of choosing a mediator, your website and/or CV will be circulated for review.

What better way to make a great impression than to demonstrate all of the interesting types of cases you’ve worked on over your career.

The more case studies and examples of cases you’ve worked on, the better. People want to hire someone who has experience with his or her type of case.

And if you have a particular area of interest or experience, the more examples you give, the more likely you may wind up in the list of search engine results.

Be specific and provide a few case studies.

E.g. “Ms. Haymes recently mediated a sexual harassment employment dispute (and list other types of disputes). Read about some of her employment mediation case studies here: (and then you would link to a short case study about the dispute, the mediation, and any resolution).”

Of course, you have to protect the confidentiality of all parties and the mediation. So you note that you have changed names and use generic names and change some of the identifying characteristics.

Highlight your experience and update your bio periodically.

The New Year is a perfect time to do that.

Happy New Year!

Kristina

p.s. I’m looking forward to a fabulous one day getaway to the mountain ranch spa.

Holiday Giving

Kristina Haymes — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 04:58:42 +0000

It’s that time of year again…

I was reminded last night as I attended a holiday function hosted by a couple of vendors… They had a really nice spread of food and drinks and I put their cards in my pocket.

And then I thought to myself, if I find myself in need of their services, I certainly would consider them first.

Why?
The law of reciprocity.

When we give, others may feel the need to reciprocate.

Not that this should be your motive in giving.

The holidays provide a wonderful opportunity to continue to make connections and build relationships with people that you want to work with and potential referral sources.

Tis the season.

NEVER GIVE UP!

It’s Been a Long Time… a really long time

Kristina Haymes — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:27:29 +0000

I don’t think I can jump back into the blogging world after an almost six-month hiatus without some sort of an explanation. After all, in the blogging world, if you miss a day or a week, you are really behind. Six months, well, you might as well have… died!

Anyway, here’s the short of it… at the end of July we moved across country and after 14 years of not living here… we came home to beautiful San Diego, California.

And yes, it is GOOD to be home!

Then, at the end of August I started a new job working as a lawyer. It seemed like the most practical thing to do since we would be starting all over again in California - a long way from New Jersey.

Anyway, I recently received an e-mail from a lawyer/mediator colleague that had purchased the Mediation Business & Marketing Success System and had been one of the early participants in our practice building action groups… and he had been inspired and influenced in a positive way by the work I had put together.

And I didn’t realize it at the time, or even last week when I received the e-mail, but I’m realizing it right now… that in my renewed search to have meaning and purpose in my life, I had, at least in a very small way, made a positive contribution to at least one person. And that, in ways large and small, is what I want my life to be about.

So, thank you.
I’m going to jump back into the world of blogging because it is something that brings me pleasure. And I am silencing the cynical voices and the critical voices.

I was struck by this explanation of idealism and realism by Tal Ben-Shahar in his book, Happier: Learn the Secrets of Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

“[W]hen we set realism and idealism in opposition to one another — when we live as though having ideals and dreams were unrealistic and detached — we are allowing a false dichotomy to hold us back. Being an idealist isbeing a realist in the deepest sense — it is being true to our real nature. We are so constituted that we actually need our lives to have meaning. Without a higher purpose, a calling, an ideal, we cannot attain our full potential for happiness. While I am not advocating dreaming over doing (both are important), there is a significant truth that many realists — rat racers mostly — ignore: to be idealistic is to be realistic.

Never Give Up on your hopes and dreams!
Kristina

On Success…Failure and FEAR

Kristina Haymes — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:01:10 +0000

*I wrote this post in July and for some reason I never posted it*

Susan Cartier Liebel of Build a Solo Practice, has an excellent July 4th post on “I’m Not Going to Risk Failure on the Possible Chance of Success.”

You will want to read the comments and the responses because the comments and responses are interesting.

Too often, people “settle” for less than because of fear of failure.

Yes, our culture and as humans we celebrate success (as we should) and we glorify those who are successful (success is often measured by outward manifestation: money, power, and prestige).

Yet, by only highlighting success a distorted image is created. Failure is part of life. It is inevitable on so many levels. We are fallible humans and despite our best efforts and intentions things will not always work out as we planned or have hoped.

As mediators, we have an opportunity to view moral, relationship, communication, and performance failures on a regular basis.

Of course, no one really wants to fail. As painful as failure is, I submit that the alternative — of not trying — for fear of failure is even more tragic.