San Diego Estate Planning Blog: Creating Legacies

From the Desk of San Diego Estate Planning Attorney, Kristina Hess Haymes…

On May 1, 2012, Facebook asked FB users to sign up to donate organs.  There is a shortage of available organs for people in desperate need of life-saving organs.  Over 100,000 people in the United States alone are waiting for organs. Facebook has used its reach to help close the gap.

You can read an article from the San Jose Mercury News here.   Californians are being encouraged to register to donate organs with Donate Life California.

As part of your estate plan in California you can indicate your preference to donate your organs on your Advance Health Care Directive.  All of our clients are able to make this election on their Health Care Directives.

Not only is an Advance Health Care Directive useful for indicating your desire to donate your organs, you will also nominate your Health Care Power of Attorney, the person to make health care decisions for you if you are unable to make decisions for yourself.

And perhaps even more importantly, you can turn your wishes about your end of life into directives.  A directive whether you want life sustaining treatment if you are unconscious with little chance of survival or not.  Some people want to qualify their directives with time periods and scenarios.  The important point is that you avoid a situation where your loved ones fight, or do not know what to do and your wishes can be carried out.

Health Care Directives are important legal documents that everyone should have.  Whether you donate your organs through your directive, or by registering with an agency, this is another choice that can potentially save someone’s life.

Thanks Facebook for doing your part to spread the word.

Estate Planning is an important piece to make sure that your wishes regarding your health care and organs are taken care of.

Create Your Legacy Today!

Kristina Hess Haymes

San Diego Estate Lawyer

From the Desk of San Diego Estate Planning Attorney, Kristina Hess Haymes

Ideals are good.  Standards are Good.  Excellence is Good.  We are called to do well and be excellent.  For sure!

But sometimes our desire to have things “just right” or “perfect” can be a real hindrance.

Can we be real?

In preparing estate plans for San Diego families, I see this frequently in my office.  I am going to use the collective “us” and “we,” because I can certainly identify with these scenarios.

Sometimes our desire to have it just right might hold us back from having it at all…

What if you like the idea of recording a video to begin leaving a library behind of your intangible wealth for your children and (perhaps future?) grandchildren… but you don’t look quite right.  Or, you don’t quite know what to say? Or, maybe you don’t want to record anything that personal (and potentially emotion inducing) in front of someone you don’t know that well.

I get that.   But are you really going to do it on your own at home?

Or, maybe you and your spouse really know that you need to nominate guardians for your children (people who could raise your child or children in the event that you are unable to) but there just isn’t that perfect person or couple.

The truth is there is no perfect person that is not you!  There just isn’t.  Parents can be pretty difficult, if not impossible, to replace.  But, the alternative to not legally nominating long term guardians for you children, is that you are taking a huge chance that nothing happens to you and your spouse before your child or children are adults!  Are you willing to play the odds with the lives of your children?  I mean, if you are gone, there is a default plan — a judge will decide who will raise your children.

But wouldn’t you rather have an imperfect plan then leave it up to a judge?

When it comes to back up parents for our children, perfect probably isn’t an option.

In this case, an imperfect plan is hands down better than no plan.  Who knows in your circle of family memberswho would step forward to volunteer to raise your children?  And, who knows how good someone may look on paper when the reality can be far different.  Maybe you are assuming that both sides of the family would handle a difficult situation with grace and love, but that is often not the case.

Again I say, this is a situation where an imperfect plan is better than no plan.

Are there other ways that a desire for perfection is holding you back?  Sometimes, we just have to get over ourselves and get something done.  Sometimes imperfect is much better than waiting for perfection.  Perfection doesn’t even really exist anyway.

I ran across an interesting book not to long ago called Wabi Sabi Love: the Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships.   The author’s work is based upon “the ancient Japanese aesthetic known as wabi sabi which honors all things old, worn, weathered, imperfect, and impermanent. In fact, it seeks to find “beauty and perfection in the imperfections.

Of course, like anything, the application of the concept is context specific.  But there is something really powerful about love and acceptance of our humanity in all of its imperfections.  You can apply this to your relationships (when they are not harmful of course) and the people in your lives.  You can apply this to tackling something that may seem overwhelming like legal planning for life and death.

Is your desire or need for perfection standing in your way?  Is it blocking your path to getting your estate planning done, loving those around you, making sure you show your love by making things as easy as possible for those you care deeply about if you are no longer here?

hmmm, love, acceptance, honor … imperfect people.

Create Your Legacy Today!

San Diego Probate and Trust Attorney, Kristina Hess Haymes

From the Desk of San Diego Estate Attorney, Kristina Hess Haymes

Polly and Sam from Del Mar, California want to know how to change their revocable living trust.  They created a joint trust over 10 years ago and their life has changed.

They had another child, and the persons they selected as their successor trustees need to be updated (trustees are the ones who manage your trust when you no longer can).

Some people want to know if they can just write a piece of paper and attach it to their trust.  Or, can they just mark up the trust, crossing out the names and writing in new ones?

A recent case decided by a California Appellate Court has reminded us all that the most important thing to do when changing an existing trust is to follow the directions for making an amendment contained in the original trust.  In the recent case, a party had followed the California Probate Code on how to amend a trust, which differed from what the trust instrument provided.

California law gives deference to legally binding written agreements.

Follow your Trust.

Don’t make handwritten changes.

Make sure you execute a proper amendment.

Here at Haymes Law Group we have a membership program in place, where for a monthly or flat annual fee, you can get unlimited changes or updates to your estate plan.  That way you can be sure that your plan is up to date, and that your amendments are all done properly.

Create Your Legacy!

Kristina Hess Haymes

San Diego Estate Lawyer

Wills, Trusts, and Businesses